The Heart of the Matter

I just did a quick little search of the word "athlete" and this is what the Oxford Dictionary spat out at me: "a person who is proficient in sports and other forms of physical exercise." Well that's nice and broad, now isn't it? As it should be!! Let me expand... (Warning: this might be a long one).

I have recently had the pleasure of working with a number of very talented rowers in a program I have started called "DRIVE." This program runs out of the Pacific Institute of Sport Excellence (my awesome, amazing, oh-so-good workplace) and it's purpose is to introduce rowers of all ages and abilities to strength and conditioning. We lift heavy weights, we build up our core, we encourage mobility and balance. We also encourage a little bit of fun and, of course, the pursuit of excellence.

I began with a program for Juniors. In my 13 years of rowing, I have seen a lot of injuries and have also witnessed many burnouts. In a sport that emphasizes countless kilometers compounded with a go-til-you-drop mentality, it's not completely surprising. My hope was to give young athletes a strong, balanced body that could support their sport, so they could remain in it longer and hopefully remain injury free. In a word, PREVENTION! Why wait unil your rib fractures before you worry about stability? That's what I did, and I don't recommend it.

I still had my head in the Olympic bubble. I was thinking of young athletes who may be National Team bound. I soon realized, however, that there was this whole other niche of athletes who were just as competitive and as much (if not more so!?) in need of strength and conditioning. The masters rowers of Victoria, BC.

I cannot say enough about this group (and I have had several sessions of masters rowers, which I am now grouping into one). They are ultra competitive, they want to be fast, they are dedicated, they work bloody hard and they are simply hungry to improve. Perhaps I see a lot of myself in all of them!?! I think so... Regardless, it is a whole mass of athletes that seem to fly under the radar simply because their goal is not the Olympic Games. Many will compete at National and World Championships, but for a number of reasons (your hypotheses are as good as mine), their progress, challenges and successes are undervalued.

The purpose of this post is to fight back a little. I see no reason why Masters athletes cannot be as valued as every other rower out there. I have been a junior, I have been on the National team, and now I am working with Masters and guess what - we're all the same. We all have heart. The best among us are just the ones who learn patience when it comes to technique, and how to suffer when it comes to training. Medals are medals - what makes a real athlete is the fire in one's eyes. I know you know what I'm talking about...

I have made it a personal mission of mine to help all athletes feel valued. I will do whatever I can for anyone who pursues excellence in athletics. Whether you want to kick butt as a masters downhill cyclist (working with one of those), survive a cross-Cambodia road ride (also one of those) or win multiple world medals at the age of 77 (yep - also one of those), if I can, I will help you make it happen. The more athletes I meet the more I realize that amazing people of all ages come from everywhere, and it isn't a medal or a regatta that defines them. If you've got that fire, if you've got HEART, it really doesn't matter at all where you end up. So cliche but so true..... it's all about the journey and you can start it no matter how old you are.

Here's to You

Well, it has been AGES since my last blog post and I have been inspired to begin writing again. I began this page as a sort of therapy when life seemed a little more challenging. Once I felt balanced and centered again, I stopped writing and basically forgot about it. Since then, it has come to my attention that people are again taking interest in the site, so I should begin by saying “thank you.” It is you who invigorate and energize me. I will begin once again to share my thoughts and experiences with all of you, in hopes that you find something in it and in turn, share your positive energy with me.

A lot has happened in the last few months and I must honestly admit that I haven’t been happier. Every day that passes I feel more and more blessed, and it’s largely due to the people in my life. I am really lucky to know a lot of really unique and amazing individuals. As I referred to in my last post, it is their light that inspires me to better myself. In the next few posts, I would like to refer to a TED talk to direct my thoughts. The subject of the talk is the "Happy Planet Index" by Nic Marks (definitely worth watching – an amazing series overall).

Marks looks at the way we define success today, namely through monetary values. He remarks that this is not an accurate measure of wealth, and I wholeheartedly agree with him. He refers to Robert Kennedy who, in assessing the GNP, noted that it "...measures everything, in short, except that which makes life worthwhile." So Marks proposes the following five things that are liable to make one happier, and improve well-being. He also suggests ranking national (and individual) successes based on these five items. They are:

1. Connect
2. Be active
3. Take notice
4. Keep learning
5. Give

Obviously, today’s post is about the first on the list, which is to connect. This includes connecting both with those around you and with yourself. Thank you to all of you who are in my life. You make every day worth living and fill me with strength and joy. I have gained a keener sense of my own self through interactions with you. I really hope that everyone can feel the same, and realizes the importance of opening yourself to others and also being true to oneself. Again, even when pursuing your greatest goals it is important to take stock of your relationships – they are what keep you grounded and whole.

I have recently started rowing again. The end goal? I cannot be sure. I do know this however: I am doing it out of love and no matter where this or anything else in my life takes me, my connections take precedence.

Dimensions

I love a New Year. The idea of a new beginning can sometimes be very appealing. Sure I am throwing some serious cliches your way, but it's true! Somehow I have found myself changing all over the place, and it happens to coincide with the beginning of 2011. Coincidence? I think so.

I went home for Christmas and realized that things just weren't the way they should be. I still wasn't working,... all I was doing was training and I was pretty exhausted. I slept A LOT when I was home and barely had any energy for running, swimming, biking.. anything! Not a way to live. The pity party ended as soon as I returned to Victoria. Time to put my big girl pants on and invoke change.

I went to a nearby gym the day after I got home and inquired about job opportunities. Wouldn't you know it - they were looking for new employees and were hiring that week. I couldn't believe my luck. I went in for an interview last week and BAM.... finally landed a job! Furthermore, I had thought I was applying for a floor attendant position. Nope! Teaching boot camp-style classes and personal training. I am so excited I can barely contain myself. I worked my first class at 6:15am on Friday and woke up at 3am that morning because I couldn't wait to go in. I feel very fortunate and excited for the future.

My post today is about dimensions. I am suddenly finding myself so fulfilled because I have many things happening now that don't require a singular focus. The reason elite sport was so dangerous for me is that I was only focusing on training and diet. All of my energy went into my body and an analysis of how it was performing (dangerous ground to be sure, especially in a weight category). I never gave my brain a chance to work or be creative, and my spirit would sometimes get lost in the training shuffle. It's a bit of a Catch 22 because some people believe that to be a champion, you MUST train all day and have that singular focus. You know what? It works for some, but it certainly does not work for everyone.

I recently read a book called "Talent is Overrated" by Geoff Colvin. In his book, Colvin essentially shows how people we consider as gifted or talented are actually people just like you and I who work really, really, really hard. I rather enjoyed the read and found it very interesting. In the end, you can always be and do whatever you want if you put the time and effort in. The message that hit home for me however, was not this message but the following: many people who relentlessly chase a goal will often lead lonely lives. In fact, many of the top CEOs in the world are sociopaths! Some may chase dreams so tirelessly that they don't realize it may be at the expense of relationships, finances, futures, environment... Again, this is not everyone, but it definitely was me. Again, time to change!

This revelation has been huge for me and I am only now realizing that I would rather live a full, well-rounded life than to strive to be great at one thing. It is still hard for me to write that and I haven't fully come to terms with it, but here's the truth: everyone is already outstanding. Why do I need a gold medal to be a champion? Why do I need top grades to prove I am intelligent? Why does anyone need external validation? I missed weddings, birthdays, funerals, relationships... All because I put all of my eggs in one basket. The world is too big to be pigeon-holed.

There is nothing wrong with chasing your dreams. I absolutely loved my experience as a national athlete and I commend anyone who goes after what they want as relentlessly as is required at that kind of level, in any arena. The lesson I have learned is to keep perspective and remember that you are not defined by your dreams - they are only an extension of your self, they are not YOU. Every human is just as worthy as the next. Our actions are what make us different, and some people's actions can be described as more or less valuable. These actions, however, do not make the person more valuable. We are all champions!

Here's to balance, not only in body but mind and spirit as well.

Perspective

Two nights ago, I thought it would be a good idea to write a post when I was very disappointed and upset. I was pretty down on myself (specifically my joblessness) and in short, I was in a dark place. I had not been considered for a position that I had fallen in love with, and it hit me hard. I am hoping most of you missed it and if you did read it, I assure you that it was in a moment of weakness (I am human, after all). I read it the following day to a couple friends of mine at lunch and they gave me some sound advice: I needed to do damage control. I listened to their words, and deleted the post. For those of you who read it - try not to judge me too harshly! The eternal optimist also has slips here and there. Plus, I learned a valuable lesson: don't write anything when you are overly upset or angry!

I also received a great e-mail about perspective, and that is the topic of this post. I was reminded that things could certainly be worse and that they will get better. In the end, that's the truth: things always, always, always get better. I also watched the movie "127 Hours" (story of Aron Ralston.. AMAZING) and talk about perspective... wow. Very humbling. All of these things made me realize that my life really isn't all that bad and more importantly, I realized that I was still in control and had the power to change things.

I woke up this morning to get to my swim workout feeling tired and still a little sorry for myself. I considered going back to bed and decided I was sick of being a victim. "This is ridiculous," I thought to myself, "You've never been one to go back to bed just because you are tired. Get your ass out there." I threw on my gear and pounded out 80 minutes of drill work, which I REALLY REALLY REALLY need. I am so excited for the day that I can actually "feel" the water. Right now, I'm basically flailing my limbs around and trying to breathe (or, when I am using my new snorkel, trying not to inhale more than one liter of water at a time... still haven't mastered it and don't even ASK me to do a flip-turn with that thing).

I spent the entire day Christmas shopping, which is so much fun I wish Christmas were 12 months a year. I LOVE buying presents and particularly sending packages. I even found the perfect gift for the hardest man to shop for in the world: Papa Forget. I cannot WAIT to give him his gift. I even found time to write a practice exam for a test I am writing Saturday morning, so it was a very productive day, followed by a team run tonight with HPR.

I have to say, I do love running with those guys. My favorite thing so far are these short activation sprints that we do before every hard run workout (and I have also started doing them after all of my slower, steadier runs since I need some fast twitch in these quads!)I have never run for speed before and it's a blast trying to get your legs to go as fast as you can. There's something very primal about running fast that really appeals to me. Now to make my legs go that quickly for 10-20k over uneven terrain! That's the next step. Oh wait... did I mention that it would follow a swim and bike!? MAN I am loving this sport.

I love the word "perspective." It's easy sometimes to fall into a rut and before you know it, you can't see the forest through the trees. Thank GOD I am blessed with so many amazing friends and teammates, and the best damn parents a girl could ask for. You can always do SOMETHING. You can always find some way to make your day a little brighter. I know that there are things I can do every day to make things better. I can buy presents for the people I love, I can job hunt, I can keep challenging myself in this new wonderful world of triathlon... There's a time to put your big girl pants on and decide you are going to do something.

I am going to get a job. I am going to be high performance once again. I am going to remember who I am. I am going to believe in myself. I am going to help other people say these things about themselves and believe it too.

It will always get better.

Inspiration

Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, handsome, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us. It is not just in some; it is in everyone. And, as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

I do love this quote. Although some believe that it was Nelson Mandela who wrote these words, it was in fact author Marianne Williamson. But that is neither here nor there... It is definitely one of my favorites and very appropriate for my topic tonight.

The subject of my blog tonight is "inspiration." What a great word. In it's origin (c. 1300), it was meant to describe, "...the immediate influence of God or a god" (for the purposes of this post, let's just stick to divine influence). It also indicates the act of drawing air into the lungs. I love the dual meanings here because for me, they are the same thing. Just as I need oxygen to survive, I need to feel purpose to truly thrive. I think many of you may feel the same way.

It is 9:30pm on a Saturday night and I am feeling inspired. I just took an hour walk through my neighborhood under a near full moon to breathe in the crisp fall air, smell the wood burning stoves and quietly reflect on life at this moment. I realized I need to give myself permission again to be someone and do something(s) amazing. As many of you may be well aware by now, that thing used to be Olympic rowing. That dream burned inside me like a roaring fire and kept me fueled for years. I would go on night walks just like the one I just went on and I would think about my goals and I would feel that "immediate influence of a god." I sometimes felt in a way that it was my destiny; that I almost had no choice in the matter and I was just acting on gifts that had been blessed with at birth.

I think for a few months now I have felt that this deep, intense feeling was completely misguided and that no, I was not meant for greatness. Perhaps I had been duped by endorphins, serotonin or dopamine. All those moments of "divine inspiration" were clearly a cruel trick that the universe had played on me for years so that I would keep chasing a dream that would never come to the fore. But what if it is real? What if this feeling that I am capable of amazing things is not specific to one thing? Now that I think about it, why would it be?

I am finding new hope. Suddenly those hours, days, months, and years of determination and relentless focus aren't looking like such a waste of time. For the first time in a long time, I want to give myself permission to be "powerful beyond measure." More importantly, I want to do this so that I can bring it out in others, just as Marianne Williamson suggests. I want to stop feeling shocked when others tell me that I am a good person, or that they like me, or that I am a decent athlete (see... I still can't say "good athlete"). It's time to remember who I am, what I have done, what I want to do and where I want to go. Still a process, but at least I have tapped back into that roaring fire and recognize it's need to be stoked.

I hope you can all relate to this because again, as Ms. Williamson suggests, we were all "...born to make manifest the glory of God within us." For those of you in my life, thank you all for being brilliant because it is your light that reminds me that I have one of my own. Here's to many, many more moments of inspiration in the near and not-so-distant future.

Full Circle

In 1998, I decided that it was too much for me to commute from school to swim practice, so I picked up the sport of rowing. I was swimming club at the time with the Trent Swim Club in Peterborough, as my high school (Lakefield... woot woot) did not have a swim team. After a year and a half of crazy commuting, I was convinced that it might be easier to join a school team, and rowing might be the perfect one to join. Boy was that spot-on. I fell in love with rowing right away and never looked back. (I am now swimming again, but that is neither here nor there!)

It's crazy to look back on those years and see myself now, coaching young adults just like 17-year-old Lindsay who are just picking up a set of blades for the first time. We had our final high school regatta of the season yesterday, and now I take time to reflect on my last two and a half months with the "kids". I have to admit, coaching is NOT as easy as one may be led to believe.

I started out by simply showing up at the Gorge Rowing Center, throwing my athletes in a boat, and teaching them the basics of what I understood as the rowing stroke. I quickly realized that I had forgotten how to use layman's terms. I was throwing "port," "starboard," "let it run" and "leg drive" at these kids and they were looking at me like I had five heads. It became clear that I needed a plan, I needed to get organized, and I had better do it quickly.

Technical jargon is just the beginning, however. The art of coaching, in my opinion, lies in an individual's ability to read one's athletes. You must do your best as a coach to honor the individuals within your team, but also recognize that it is indeed a team that you are working with. Tough stuff... This makes me appreciate all of the coaches I have had to date, starting from my very first swim coach to my present triathlon coach. Managing athletes is not easy, and it takes a very patient and confident individual to rise to the challenge. I am positive I have just scratched the surface of this coaching business, and it has definitely sparked my interest. I think I may stick with this coaching gig for a while yet...

I feel blessed to have had the opportunity to work with these kids. The improvement they have shown over 10 weeks is outstanding. I only hope that they can come to love rowing as much as I have, and in this discover things about themselves that sometimes only competitive sport can teach you. Here's to many more seasons of coaching (and, of course, being coached!!!)

What a Piece of Work

The inscription on this piece in downtown Victoria reads: "You who lift a penny from the gutter and with the same hand point out stars, find me."

I don't know why exactly, but I LOVE THIS. All lit up beautifully on a cool fall night... Ahhhh Vic.