Perspective

Two nights ago, I thought it would be a good idea to write a post when I was very disappointed and upset. I was pretty down on myself (specifically my joblessness) and in short, I was in a dark place. I had not been considered for a position that I had fallen in love with, and it hit me hard. I am hoping most of you missed it and if you did read it, I assure you that it was in a moment of weakness (I am human, after all). I read it the following day to a couple friends of mine at lunch and they gave me some sound advice: I needed to do damage control. I listened to their words, and deleted the post. For those of you who read it - try not to judge me too harshly! The eternal optimist also has slips here and there. Plus, I learned a valuable lesson: don't write anything when you are overly upset or angry!

I also received a great e-mail about perspective, and that is the topic of this post. I was reminded that things could certainly be worse and that they will get better. In the end, that's the truth: things always, always, always get better. I also watched the movie "127 Hours" (story of Aron Ralston.. AMAZING) and talk about perspective... wow. Very humbling. All of these things made me realize that my life really isn't all that bad and more importantly, I realized that I was still in control and had the power to change things.

I woke up this morning to get to my swim workout feeling tired and still a little sorry for myself. I considered going back to bed and decided I was sick of being a victim. "This is ridiculous," I thought to myself, "You've never been one to go back to bed just because you are tired. Get your ass out there." I threw on my gear and pounded out 80 minutes of drill work, which I REALLY REALLY REALLY need. I am so excited for the day that I can actually "feel" the water. Right now, I'm basically flailing my limbs around and trying to breathe (or, when I am using my new snorkel, trying not to inhale more than one liter of water at a time... still haven't mastered it and don't even ASK me to do a flip-turn with that thing).

I spent the entire day Christmas shopping, which is so much fun I wish Christmas were 12 months a year. I LOVE buying presents and particularly sending packages. I even found the perfect gift for the hardest man to shop for in the world: Papa Forget. I cannot WAIT to give him his gift. I even found time to write a practice exam for a test I am writing Saturday morning, so it was a very productive day, followed by a team run tonight with HPR.

I have to say, I do love running with those guys. My favorite thing so far are these short activation sprints that we do before every hard run workout (and I have also started doing them after all of my slower, steadier runs since I need some fast twitch in these quads!)I have never run for speed before and it's a blast trying to get your legs to go as fast as you can. There's something very primal about running fast that really appeals to me. Now to make my legs go that quickly for 10-20k over uneven terrain! That's the next step. Oh wait... did I mention that it would follow a swim and bike!? MAN I am loving this sport.

I love the word "perspective." It's easy sometimes to fall into a rut and before you know it, you can't see the forest through the trees. Thank GOD I am blessed with so many amazing friends and teammates, and the best damn parents a girl could ask for. You can always do SOMETHING. You can always find some way to make your day a little brighter. I know that there are things I can do every day to make things better. I can buy presents for the people I love, I can job hunt, I can keep challenging myself in this new wonderful world of triathlon... There's a time to put your big girl pants on and decide you are going to do something.

I am going to get a job. I am going to be high performance once again. I am going to remember who I am. I am going to believe in myself. I am going to help other people say these things about themselves and believe it too.

It will always get better.